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im pretty busy working two jobs these days - the itrc (aka playing emulated super nintendo) and western film (aka watching my scarlet in ‘the island’ again and again) - so luckily my weekend was spent with fellow bloggers so i can pass the blogerbial torch to them. if you would like to get your fix of the dewaard in a far better written and photographed fashion then i could ever provide, i suggest checking out brian and eano and paige. especially brian. brian. so hot right now. brian.

if you did go see brian, then you will have noticed that brian took many pictures of everybody’s favourite little scamp: mister matthew bacon. i happen to be fortunate enough to capture much of that porn villain hilarity on videotape. and will be compiling said hilarity into a music video of unimaginable proportions. maybe i’ll have to cut down on some of the super nintendo at work and get going on this music video.

you will also have seen that brian coined the phrase: the dewaard. when your namesake gets transformed into a descriptive action, you always hope that it will be something positive. like that simpsons where pulling a homer meant being incredibly lucky. not for this guy. instead, pulling a dewaard now refers to ingesting copious amounts of cheap beer and passing out in the grass in a semi-fetal position. dressing up like a dumbass is optional.

mit camping - aug 2005

drinking with bro-in-law in australia - april 2005

mit soph bbq - june 2003
[dammit i can’t find the pic of the first occassion of ‘the dewaard’. blast. it might be gone forever. tear.]

thats all for now,
andrewdewaard.com, proudly brought to you in part by brian inc.

in response to this post from fellow fake-news fan chris, i just wanted to also worship at the foot of the only thing keeping me sane these days, the daily show with jon stewart. case in point.

crazy old white republican guy refering to the ten commandments statue ban: “we have no smoking signs in front of gas pumps so people dont catch on fire but we can’t have a symbol in front of a court so people keep from living a sinful life?!”
wicked smart jon stewart’s retort: “i think the government should be keeping people from being engulfed by flames on earth, and that’s it.”

later in the show, john ‘cider house rules’ irving comes out and does this surreal interview where he talks in a ben stein monotone voice about the formalistic literary choices he made while writing his latest milion page book and its some twilight zone public access tv interview. then out of nowhere he launches into this story about going to dinner with kurt vonnegut and “pounding him from the rodeo position” cause he thought he was choking. but kurt tells him he has emphysema! and here i (and chris) thought the steve carrell interview the nite before was genius [download here].

and in response to this post from fellow mash-up fan ali, i just wanted to also worship at the foot of the only other thing keeping me sane these days, free* music on the internet. case in point.

just when jay-z and the beatles seemed like an odd couple (the must download ‘grey album’ by dj dangermouse), comes dj cappel’s mash-up of notorious b.i.g. and frank f’in sinatra. i was just as skeptical, but gosh darn it. it works. gloriously.

and really, biggie and sinatra were both womanizing gangstas in their own right anyway. so why not? [download album here or some samples here]

* as always: relatively speaking
** the ‘do the dew, not kill the jew’ was the daily show’s cure for terrorism: commercialize the disenfranchized youth!
*** even if no one cares about my various media suggestions, it doesnt matter because really im just practicing for my future career as an encyclomedia (thanks for the word -and subsequently my future profession- alex)

the summer of camping continued, with a nice little winchester family outing to the whispering pines family campground somewhere in the muskoka region. i think our version of family is slightly different than theirs, as we were told to quiet down within minutes of arriving. waking up the next morning to a campsite full of empties, a stray firearm, and birds pecking at our hot dog buns, we felt slightly out of place among the dozens of kids running around. all in all good times, though i nearly fainted at work sunday nite. apparently drinking nothing but coffee and beer for a whole weekend makes you wicked dehydrated.

so how do idiots like this…

get to hang out with such lovely ladies…

love you winchesters.

now that ive lost any remote sense of your trust in my musical taste from the kelly clarkson boondangle, i’m gonna earn it all back right now! with pre-releases of your soon to be favourite new songs!

broken social scene - 7/4 (shoreline) [legal download!]
surely the most anticipated album this fall for a lot of people, and the first single doesnt disappoint. i remember hearing it live about a month ago and being blown away immediately. if not sooner.

sigur ros - gong [download]
everybody’s favourite (well only) icelandic band, back with another masterpiece of an album (which i have a month in advance, god bless the internet)

dangerdoom - el chupa nibre [download]
never would have thought the equation dj dangermouse + mf doom + adult swim would ever even be posed, but thank god it has. hip hop and incredibly random cartoons equals crazy good album (which i have 2 months in advance, vishnu bless the internet)

1. kelly clarkson - since you’ve been gone
2. gwen stefani - hollaback girl
3. destiny’s child - say my name
5. kylie minogue - cant get you out of my head
6. britney spears - toxic

[download them all]

just download these songs, abandon all your pre-conceived notions about ‘originality’ or ‘artistic integrity’, and just fuckin listen.

I cant get you out of my head

i just can’t not surrender to these songs, and other bubble gum pop hits that a younger more cynical andrew would have hated just out of principle. the political economist in me decries the obvious marketing scam that all of these artists scream of. especially once-great-ska singer gwen who now names her album after her fuckin clothing line. but…

I even fell for that stupid love song. Yeah yeah. Since U Been Gone

i can barely even watch much music these days, it just seems like a never-ending synergistic advertising loop. but every so often, a song comes by that i just cant deny. i remember seeing kelly clarkson (an american idol for gods sake!) on saturday night live singing ’since u been gone’ and me and a friend were like, uhh is this a cover? it must be a cover. and then let it go at that because we just assumed she couldn’t of written (well at least performed- or at least lip-synched) such a great song.

I’m addicted to you don’t you know that you’re toxic

why can someone like outkast make a song like ‘hey ya’ that EVERYONE can enjoy because, well its an awesome song, but outkast also has some street cred from the critics and the hipsters. or how can annie make a piece of bubblegum perfection like ‘heartbeat’ but she has some sort of indie cred because pitchfork got to her before entertainment weekly did?

This my shit. This my shit.

im not gonna hate a song just because it’s a marketing ploy. none of these artists deserve my hard earned* dollar, and none of them get it. but i will be embarassed NO MORE!

If no one is around you, say baby I love you

* hard-earned being a very relative term.
** whats even sadder than me liking this music was taking the time to make that useless montage
*** wow this blog has taken a real tits an ass swing lately, celebrity or otherwise, and i apologize.