halloweenie
for those unfamiliar with the university of western ontario, we have a strange creature lurking through our campus. she is called the western girl. having lost her way from the club, but not from her daddy’s credit card, she wears nothing but the latest styles, from enormously large sunglasses to furry little boots. these girls are bascially zombies, so i thought i might as well make the next logical step, and dress up as a zombie western girl. kind of like “zombie squared”. however, i got a little carried away applying the fake blood and a thick stream coming down the inside of my leg was the result. menstruating zombie western girl! generally, most people were disgusted, yet found it hilarious. some people were just disgusted. i had a 20 minute conversation with some drunk guy about whether or not the menstrual blood is over the line. we walked around the party taking a poll, i think i came out on top 7-5, disgusting but funny vs. just disgusting. one girl had to leave the room as i graphically talked about my recent journey into womanhood. one dominatrix girl used her whip on my ass, really hard. and one guy from team zissou tried to kick my ass, i cant remember exactly why. i believe it was a combination of him not liking me or my costume, and that i started spraying beer everywhere. brian was a hot cop, alex was hurricane katrina, paige was mary kate olsen, cam was a slutty asparagus (whom i covered in my menstrual blood), dave was the msn messenger guy, and eano was something. all in all, 2 nights of menstrual blood-soaked debauchery. my favourite time of year is over, and all i have to look forward to now is stupid christmas.
“my first day as a girl, and i think i just became a woman”
“i like totally wanna eat your brain, or something”
halloween posse
me and some of my ghost bustin’ roomies
obviously, the night would have to come to an end with a striptease. obviously.
Sweet Jesus! I’m definitely torn between hilarity and horror, so I think that calls for a new word. Hillorified perhaps?
And what the fuck is Jeff supposed to be?
L is for Love
Comment by Ian — November 4, 2005 @ 11:09 am
hillorified! i love it! and jeff’s costume was actually really good, he was towelie, guess you cant tell from that pic. that was my last j asshole!
Comment by andrew — November 4, 2005 @ 10:03 pm
Well done. You realize, you’ve simply clarified everyone’s latent desire to shoot Western girls in the head?
Well played, old man.
Comment by Chris in NF — November 6, 2005 @ 4:40 pm
i was a chick’s gynacologist night 1 and daddy divorcee night 2, unobservant dick.
Comment by mister jason eano — November 10, 2005 @ 4:21 pm
you told me ‘irony’. ass.
Comment by andrew — November 10, 2005 @ 7:52 pm
[…] 9. home of dallas, whose halloween party involved me a) almost getting my ass kicked by a member of team zissou and b) prevented me from ever having any form of career in the pulic eye on account of the scandal-inducing pictures […]
Pingback by andrewdewaard.com » anatomy of a student ghetto — July 12, 2006 @ 12:04 pm
[…] the second opportunity was again a last minute deal, this time me and alicia had a little longer in value village to find the right costume. as it tends to happen, the right costume found me… originally, i thought of continuing the trend of zombified characters, following elvis two years ago (don’t be cruel baby.. or i’ll eat your brains) and western girl last year (im like, totally gonna eat your brains!), so i thought maybe i would be zombie steve irwin (crickey! im gonna eat your brains!). apparently this was a popular idea. instead, i continued the trend of dressing up as a chick, which isn’t helping to dispel the rumour that maybe i enjoyed prancing around in a skirt a little too much last year. moreso, i just like acting like a total dumbass. evil hooker twin of sailor moon! […]
Pingback by andrewdewaard.com » i’m a halloweenie — November 8, 2006 @ 3:49 am