the first day of the last days
it never fails, i cannot sleep the night before the first day of school. i’ve always had a bit of anxiety, especially when i try to sleep (which i cure by having the tv on to distract), and the first day of school just brings on this inevitable onslaught of anxiety over the (imagined) upcoming stress of school. when i was a kid i always assumed that eventually i would get older, mature, and outgrow this anxiety, but now that the whole maturity thing has passed me by, its just become this yearly, almost-comic reoccurance.
this term, the last of my illustrious five year undergraduate career (i took time off in australia, its not a victory lap!), was – in the words of mike skinner aka the streets – “supposed to be so eaaasyyyy.” only one class, the dreaded “Designing and Critiquing Research Methods,” but i was looking forward to a nice easing out of university. plenty of time to go out with friends, write my undergrad thesis, get stuff ready for grad school, generally just take her slow. now im working 3 damn jobs (another nerd computer lab job, me thinks i have to quit the popcorn boy job), writing more for the gazette and zine hopefully, sitting in on a seminar class, way behind in my thesis (though i guess i should just learn to accept that feeling), and planning on heading up our scholarly journal, mediations, and making another documentary on homelessness.
so now i have this ‘its all over soon’ feeling, which i gather a lot of us near-to-graduators are feeling, except i went thru it all last april with my winchester family, and now its creeping up again. alrite. shut up andrew you fucking baby.
about 4 years ago
this is not a call for pity like you would have us believe, no. this is a not-so-cleverly disguised boast about all the cool stuff you’re doing. i for one, am not going to fall for it. obviously you brought this stuff upon yourself and you obviously love it cause you’re doing awesome suff. why don’t you just say you’re the coolest overachiever around?… after me. you’re the second.
about 4 years ago
all i heard was ‘blah blah blah, I’m a cashew’….P.S. why do you feel like you have to add in the ‘it’s not a victory lap’ bullshit line….who gives a shit?! no one thinks your lazy or stupid or scared to grow up, so don’t worry about it. And if you did feel like you had to explain yourself, you should be honest. You stayed so you could try and seduce me….cheeky bastard!
xo
sd
about 4 years ago
sarah, youre right.
sioned, youre wrong. since i do get the ‘youre still here?’ from random acquaintances, i feel like the ‘its not a victory lap’ is in order.
about 4 years ago
I think you’re lazy, stupid, and afraid to grow up!!!
Love you buddy!